Research suggests that what really separates the happy couples from the miserable is a healthy balance between their positive and negative interactions. There is a quote that states "what you feed will grow and what you starve will die". This same concept applies in our relationships. If your nurture your relationships with positive interactions then the nature of your over all relationship will also be positive.
Dr. Gottman refers to the application of this idea in his "The magic ratio". The Magic ratio is 5:1. In other words, as long as there are five times as many positive interactions between partners as there are negative, the relationship is likely to be stable. It is based on this ratio that Dr. Gottman is able to predict divorce! Very unhappy couples tend to have more negative than positive interactions. The bottom line: even though some level of negativity is necessary for a stable relationship, positivity is what nourishes your love.
This Week make an intentional attempt to counteract every 1 negative encounter with your spouse with 5 positive ones.